Brothers

I was four months pregnant when Wyatt was diagnosed with Autism. I remember crying to Wyatt's behavioral psychologist asking her how would I be able to provide for another child when I felt like 100% of my attention needed to go to Wyatt. She promised me that a sibling would be the best thing for Wyatt.

I have to say, she was so right! River is the kindest, sweetest, loving, silliest boy. He has so much pride in helping his brother. He is always happy to help educate others that Blaze is a working dog and recently told his uncle that Wyatt had autism (which clearly he already knew). He is only 4 years old!

River attended daycare at a young age, when he was in the one-year old class his preschool teacher told me that River was the kindest friend to his friends. He was always willing to stop playing to help a friend in need and that he understood a little boy in his class who was currently going through the autism diagnosis. I was so surprised to see at such a young age his home life experience was carrying over to school.

As River got older, he started asking more questions...why doesn't Wyatt talk, why doesn't Wyatt play with me, etc. As soon as I mentioned this to my sister, she ordered him a book called My Brother Charlie. I read it to him a few times, not mentioning Wyatt but wondering if he would put the pieces together. After probably the fifth time of reading it, he said "mommy, Wyatt has autism".

So it has to be no surprise that when Blaze came home River was so excited to be part of this journey! At first, I will admit it was a bit annoying. Every time I went to give Blaze a command, River repeated it (poor Blaze). Blaze truly syncs with his environment. So a four year old bouncing around with excitement equals a dog bouncing around with excitement. It took some adjusting and setting limitations. River now knows all the commands and tries to give them to Blaze...which surprisingly Blaze will listen sometimes. A rule I had to learn about giving commands, was to say command, if Blaze didn't follow through with command, count six mississippis, and then say it again. Often you will hear River say "Blaze, sit...1,2,3,4,5,6...sit". I think my favorite thing to hear is "good boy, Blaze" coming from River's mouth.

Recently River has been talking about when he moves out and gets his own house (yes, at 4 years of age...clearly I'm not a lot of fun to live with). He told me, "don't worry mommy, we will still come visit you". I said, "you will?". He said, "Yes, Wyatt and Blaze will live with me so we will all come to visit you". We have never discussed whether or not Wyatt would be able to live on his own or maybe he just thinks brothers live together. Whatever reason, it melted my heart.

My relationship with my siblings is one of the most important relationships in my life. We experienced the best parts of life with each other and some of the very hardest parts. We grew up playing school (or maybe it was me playing student, no surprise my sister is a professor), playing barbies (brothers included), and playing softball and kickball at our grandpa's horse farm (and trivial pursuit, most boring game ever) . We've hit, pinched, and kicked each other (don't worry at much younger ages), bounced softballs off our baby brothers head (sorry, Nate), and had ugly words, including that we hated each other. We also stood by each other as the other got married (or getting married), held each others children, and comforted each other during troubled times. I know no matter what, my siblings are always there.

Although I know my boys relationship will be a bit different, I am so thankful they have each other. I hope that River always wants to educate others about his brother, wants to help others who have disabilities, and an advocate for service dogs.  I also hope that River watches how Wyatt appreciates the little things in life, like playing in the rain, how he appreciates the sound of music, and how he never expects a new toy, but happy with the things he has. I hope that Wyatt watches River to hear him talk in full sentences, play with toys appropriately, and have friendship with others. I hope that they always feel peace with one another and know no matter what they have each other.