Jake!

On Monday, April 18 2016 I received a call from Laura at Good Dog! Autism Companions informing us that we have matched!!! After a year and two months wait, we now have a service dog for Wyatt!! His trainer calls him Jake, we will soon decide his forever name.

Good Dog! Autism Companions is based in Fallbrook, CA. In July, as Jake's main handler, I will travel to California for a five day boot camp training. During this training, I will bond with Jake and learn everything that I will need to know to be a service dog handler. After the five days of training, Jake will graduate from a dog in training, to a service dog. Then I get to bring Jake home to Wyatt and he will forever be part of our family!

We happened to be in Disney World when we received the matching news! We awoke early on Tuesday morning to go enjoy our last day of Magic Kingdom fun.  I happened to glance at my emails, while waiting for the boys to wake up. I had an email from Laura informing me that Sam, Jake's trainer, lived only 3 hours away from us. Of course, I immediately responded wanting to know more details. After a few email exchanges with Sam, we scheduled a time on Wednesday for us to meet Jake!

I am pretty sure I didn't sleep much Tuesday night (except long enough to have a dream that Jake had a huge hole in his side..you think I was nervous?!). I was so excited about meeting Jake. So amazed that we got this opportunity, as most families don't get to meet their dogs till boot camp training.For the last year, I had played the moment I would meet Wyatt's service dog in my head at least a million times and now it is happening!!

Needless to say, Jake was awesome (and so is Sam). He is super sweet, loving, with a silly side to him (perfect for us).We got lots of kisses. Wyatt didn't acknowledge Jake much, which was not a surprise. We were in a new environment, with a new person, and a new dog. It usually takes Wyatt awhile to warm up to anything that is new.  And by awhile, I mean weeks if not months.

I had no problem loving on Jake. However I do have to admit, that I totally felt intimidated not knowing commands. It was really awesome to watch Sam give Jake commands! You can see the respect and love Jake has for Sam. I am so excited to be that person for Jake and help create a wonderful bond between him and Wyatt. I have huge faith that Sam will help me get there.

Stay tuned for more details and hopefully Jake's forever name. Laura and Sam informed us that changing Jake's name is not confusing to him. A dog doesn't recognize him/herself by their name, simply their name is more of a command. If the child can rename the dog a name he/she picks out it is an opportunity for child/dog to bond. Wyatt is nonverbal (lacks functional language) so unfortunately he is not offering up any names. However we are working on a few names with him to see if he can say them and his reaction to the name. His therapist are also working with him on names they are rallying for. We have an awesome team!!

Thanks for joining this journey with us! We are beyond the moon excited. Welcome to our family, Jake.

Got to have a little patience...

I've never been known for my patience. It really isn't a strength of mine. As I get older, I think I am getting better at it, however its still not my strong suit. With that said, I am so excited to find out whether we will "match" with Wyatt's dog this month!! I check my phone at least 400 times a day, to be sure I didn't miss an email or phone call.

We started the service dog journey in January 2015. After my husband and I were on the same page, I started to look for which organization would be the best fit. There are different kinds of organizations when it comes to service dogs. There are some that are for profit, some that are non-profit, some that train all kinds of service dogs and some that specialize in autism service dogs.  Oh my goodness, how do I make this kind of decision?

Ironically, I mentioned that I was researching autism service dogs to a work friend. Who said, you know Susie Cupcake (changing persons name) volunteers with a company that trains service dogs. What? Really?  I work in medical publishing and get the benefit of working with nurse educators. Susie Cupcake is a nurse educator who had developed a product we sell. I had the opportunity to meet her at a couple of times; however had no idea she worked with service dogs.It truly amazes me how people have been in my life at the perfect time!

Needless to say, I emailed her immediately with a page full of questions. She immediately responded, one of the first things she said, " I must tell you that I am not certain how objective I can be in this discussion because this work is the most rewarding service that I have ever done. I am so touched by the manner in which a dog changes the life of persons and families. it is absolutely remarkable - each and every time - no matter how many stories I hear watch, read about or witness."

She worked with an organization who trained dogs to become autism service dogs. The organization she worked with was in a different state and only serves families in a 50-70 mile radius. Therefore, she gave me some great advice on what to look for when researching different organizations.

During my research, with her criteria in mind, I came across a non-profit organization called Good Dog! Autism Companions. I read every single line of their website, then schedule my "free chat" with the Executive Director and Founder of the company. This call took place in January 2015.  After our call, I knew this was the organization I wanted to work with, so I officially applied. Some of my favorite things about Good Dog! Autism Companions:

1) Laura, the Executive Director and Founder, is a mom to a son with autism. She gets it!!
2) They only use positive re-enforcement training methods for their dogs, as taught by Bonnie Bergin at Bergin University of Canine Studies.
3) I loved that they worked with a Canine University.
4) The follow ADI (Assistance Dog International) training, team and support standards.
5) They are a non-profit.
6) Their dogs are golden retrievers and labs. We love both of those breeds.
7) They provided very in-depth training for dog handler (me).

We were accepted into Good Dogs! Autism Companions program. The cost to train each dog is $26,000. We were tasked to raise $13,000 (half the cost), once we hit the $7000 mark we would be put on the waiting list for a dog. I couldn't believe this was happening!!

I've never been part of a fundraising effort, let alone lead the effort. Good Dog! Autism Companions has a fundraising page for the families in the program. I immediately created Wyatt's customized page. If individuals wanted to donate, they could go online to Wyatt's page and make the donation. Each time we got a donation, I would receive an email.  I started making a list of ideas. I should post on my facebook page so my friends and family knew we were fundraising. I thought about organizing a 5K and 10K (I'm a runner) with our local sports store. Thought maybe I could work with some local restaurants to host a night for Wyatt and give us a percentage of sales. The list started to grow.

On February 7, 2015 at 8:34 am I posted a message on Facebook sharing our fundraising efforts and a link to Wyatt's Good Dog! Autism Companions page.  My inbox started to explode. My facebook friends started sharing my post, their friends and family started sharing on their facebook page, and donations were starting to come in. By, Feb 9, 2015 at 6:03 am we had raised $8594 and were officially on the waiting list! I was overwhelmed with people's generosity. I knew that eventually the donations would slow down and I would need to start with my other efforts. Five days later, on Feb 12th we had hit our goal! Ladies and gentlemen, we raised $13,000 in five days via social media! We set a Good Dog! Autism record. Our final donations ended at $14,194.89! AMAZING!!!!

Needless to say we were completely overwhelmed by everyone's generosity. I was amazed by the number of people who donated - friends from my autism circle, friends from my childhood, friends I've made over my adult years, family, my family's friends, my work colleagues, my work colleagues parents, my husband's work colleagues, my husband's friends, my niece's girl scout troop,  a local Roden & Fields team, our realtor, our realtor's daughter, therapist that had worked with Wyatt, the list goes on.

Many times during our autism journey, I have felt very scared. I worry that people will accept my son. I worry that people will accept me as I fight for his needs. I worry that I am providing enough therapies, resources, and tools for Wyatt. I have amazing support system, friends and family who have went through this journey with me. I however had no idea how many other people supported and loved us! My husband and I were astonished at the number of people who donated for the good of our child and family.

Over the course of the year, I have tried to restrain myself from emailing Laura to ask her how much longer she thought. We were told in our first call to expect the process to take 18 months to 2 years. I knew that we would not get a dog immediately (which again Susie Cupcake informed me that service dog organization typical wait list was 2 years).

Good Dog! Autism Organization has several dogs in the training program. They hand select each dog, once the dog is selected they start training at 8 weeks of age. The first year (and plus) of the dog's life, he/she is being trained on basic, advanced skills and public access skills. Once a dog is matched with a family, the dog's training is customized based on the child's and family's needs.

At the end of March 2016, we received an email saying we were part of the match process. If we match, we will start working with our dog's trainer on getting the dog trained based on Wyatt's needs. I will travel to California in July, to go through 5 days of "boot camp" training with the dog and trainer. After graduation, I will fly home with Wyatt's forever friend.

 If you would like to learn more about the extensive match process, please read the following:

http://gooddogautismcompanions.org/dog-blogs/2015/8/31/good-dog-matching-how-we-find-your-forever-pup.html .

We now wait, we wait to see if one of these dogs is Wyatt's. I can't tell you how excited I am. It's like waiting the arrival of a new child. I look at the dogs who are ready to be matched, trying to guess which one might be ours. I talk to my husband about different names for the dog (we get to rename the dog). I think about what things we need to buy. I think about organizing the travel for boot camp. I think about the boot camp training. Then I remind myself that we are not guaranteed to match this round. That if we don't match this time, it's okay. One day we will have a service dog, it will be the perfect dog for Wyatt. Trust the system. Be patient!!

A negative turned into a positive...

In December 2014, I decided to take the boys to California, to visit my sister and her family. My husband wasn't able to join us, due to his work schedule. The day after Christmas, I boarded the plane solo with the boys for a four and half hour flight (shout out to Southwest who does a great job at accommodating families with special needs children).  After a wonderful visit, it was time to return back to Louisiana.

We get to LAX airport to find that our flight was delayed. The terminal area was super crowd and there was no way to keep Wyatt in a seat. He was running from here to there (of course, I am chasing him from here to there). As we waited in the pre-boarding area to board, Wyatt began to fuss, whine, and cry because now I had to force him to stand still. I can't blame him for the tears because at this point, I was also ready to cry! Finally we are on the plane, I'm getting the boys situated when an older lady approaches me. I think, how sweet she is going to offer to help. Her mouth opens "where are you sitting? I want to be sure we are not seating near you".  I looked at her, feeling my blood boil, feeling my eyes water, and my mouth opens to say  "Fuck you", but I stopped.

1) I had two set of eyes on me and two sets of listening ears. I have to teach River how to handle these situations, as I know one day he will be sticking up for his brother..
2) No one will EVER make my child feel like he doesn't belong.
3) This lady wasn't worth it. She simply was too ignorant to notice that my child has needs. Too selfish to think how difficult it was to travel solo with two kids.
4) I was scared that once I started, that I wouldn't stop.

Like the angels they are, both boys crashed on the plane. I sat there thinking about what had happened. I was disappointed in myself that I didn't say something clever to put the lady in her place. Of course, all the savvy "come-backs" pop in my head an hour after the matter (don't you hate when that happens).  I wonder, would it be different if Wyatt looked like he had a disability? Would that help people be more patient and kind?

I believe it is very important to socialize Wyatt. Yes it is easier to stay at home with him, however how will he ever learn to act in public? How can others accept him, if they are not aware?  Temple Grandin has said it perfectly, "You have got to keep autistic children engaged with the world. You cannot let them tune out".

With that said, here are a few things you should know about Wyatt:

• He NEVER stops! If you know Wyatt, you probably just chuckled. If you don't know Wyatt, I can't stress how much the boy is always on the go. Even when he watches a cartoon, he stands in front of the TV and jumps up and down. Of course, then River is yelling "Wyatt, I can't see". One of his therapist said it perfect - Wyatt, at the age of six, has lived seven lives because he never stops. 
• PICA is the persistent eating of substances such as dirt or paint that has no nutritional value (Source: WebMd). Wyatt loves nothing more than to eat dirt, flowers, and grass. I owe many friends and family new plants and flowers. He will also put other non-edible things in his mouth and he is super fast like a ninja. 
• Wyatt is a runner. Meaning that if we are in a public setting, such as the grocery store, we have to hold his hand the entire time. If he wiggles away, he is gone. I have ran many aisles at the grocery store and Target (it's okay to laugh, I am sure I looked crazy).  
• Water is one of Wyatt's favorite things. He loves to swim and to get a bath. When I turn the water on at the kitchen sink, he runs over flapping his little hands (this is what he does when he is excited) and puts his fingers in the water. Which means, Wyatt can often be found in the bathrooms, turning on the water. Most our nobs are off the sinks, which worked for a short period of time; however he soon figured out how to turn on the water without knobs. I love his passion for water; however I fear he will burn himself or flood out the house. You know what else has water, yep the toilet bowel.  
•  Sleeping, or shall I say the lack of sleeping. There are many nights that Wyatt wakes up at 1 or 2 am and doesn't fall back asleep - ok, that is a lie. He does fall back asleep once he gets on the bus to go to school. Thank you buddy, mommy and daddy have to go to work now. 
• Wyatt loves lots of deep pressure. He loves for us to squeeze him tight with a big hug. This helps to regulate his little system. The hugs are super awesome and I feel grateful he is so loving. This is awesome, except when he goes up to a stranger for a hug...awkward. At a friend's house the other day, she had her bed beautiful made with a thick comforter and tons of pillows. Guess where we found Wyatt, yep under the covers with a smile from ear to ear. Thank goodness for friends who love my child. 
•  Often kiddos with autism do not know social boundaries. When in public (or at a friends house), if Wyatt sees a drink and/or food, he goes for it. He doesn't understand (or maybe just doesn't care) that it isn't his. One time while leaving a Mexican restaurant, Wyatt grabbed a chip out of someone else's chip basket...awkward. Thank goodness they were nice strangers.
• Wyatt typically prefers to "play" alone. Well it seems he prefers it, but it could be also that he doesn't understand how to approach others. 

Here you go, a perfect picture that my sister-in-law took of Wyatt. Running, at the swimming pool. That's my little guy.... 

Some of you may be thinking, isn't she suppose to talk about a service dog? Well here we go...

If you read my prior post, you know that I have been reading about dogs and autism (A Friend Like Henry by Gardner is a great read), watching Wyatt interact with our dogs, and reading blogs about autism service dogs. I kept talking to my sister and friends over and over again about the possibilities of a service dog for Wyatt. A few of my friends, who have son's with autism, were talking about a service dog for their child, so I started asking them questions.

Back to the flight home from California. We landed (clearly) and my husband greeted us at the airport. The first thing I said  was "we are getting Wyatt a service dog". If anyone knows my husband (the lovely analytical man he is), his first response was no, we don't need another dog. Quietly, I thought....hmmm what will I need to do to convince him. So I gave him a day, then I started telling him why:

1) A service dog for Wyatt helps others to recognize he has needs.
2) Wyatt can be tethered to the dog while in public, to keep him safe from running.
3) The service dog is trained to lay on child to provide "deep pressure", when needed.
4) The dog can sleep with Wyatt, in hopes that it helps to keep Wyatt asleep (feeling safe and secure with his dog).
5) Other kids love dogs. Wyatt + Dog = kids approaching dog (and Wyatt). Makes Wyatt be social!
6) The dog is trained that by a given a certain command, such as "nudge", dog will interrupt a behavior. For example, Wyatt's dog will help to interrupt him eating plants and dirt, turning on sink water, etc.
7) A companion and friend.  How can you say no to that?
8) The list goes on...probably things that I am not even aware of yet! That is one of the purposes of this blog, to educate others of what we learn during this adventure.

Clearly, I convinced my husband (yay, me). We started the process January 2015. Stay tuned for more details on how we went through the process of deciding whether to go with a profit or non-profit service dog provider, why we made the decision to go with Good Dog! Autism Companions (and got accepted), how we raised $13,000 in five days (can you believe it?), and much much more! Three things before signing off:

1) For those of you who have asked. No, we do not have the dog. We were notified, at the end of March, that we are currently in the "match" process. Meaning if a dog matches Wyatt's needs (and me as the handler), then we could possibly have our dog in July!! OH MY GOODNESS!

2) To the lady on the plane, thank you! Thank you for giving me that extra push to go on this adventure for my son.  (also karma is a bitch, so you better be nice)

3) If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart!

Tell next time -

Before you can understand our future, I think you need to know about our past...

When Wyatt was almost two years old, a change happened. He stopped talking, stopped making eye contact, stopped playing with toys appropriately, stopped answering to his name, and stopped engaging with others. It was like a "light" went off. In one month, I visited and called Wyatt's Pediatrician at least a dozen times. I wanted answers, what has happened to my little guy.  The man (pediatrician) was an ass, he provided no answers. I was three/four months pregnant at the time, he told me Wyatt stopped talking because he "sensed" the pregnancy. Really? Also, told me that losing speech isn't regression. Really? I asked for Neurologist referral (thank you insurance for requiring referrals - we will talk about my relationship with insurance at a later time) and he denied it. Really? The last time I called, I asked his nurse to please pass a message along - Dear Doctor, you are not GOD! I hung up and called a pediatrician who had a solid reputation (and wasn't taking new patients) and cried to the receptionist, begging that this doctor would see Wyatt. It worked, she agreed to see Wyatt. Ladies and gentleman, that is when shit started happening!!

At the time, I hadn't been a mom for even two years. However, I learned a very valuable lesson - always trust your mother's intuition (and also doctors don't always know everything). After my first appointment with our new amazing pediatrician, I had a referral to a psychologist, who diagnosed  him with autism, a referral to a neurologist, who diagnosed him with a seizure disorder, and a referral to an OT, who diagnosed him with sensory processing disorder. To give you an idea of how fast all this happened, I was still pregnant.

We were very fortunate to get an autism diagnosis so fast. The psychologist, who diagnosed Wyatt, had just opened her practice and was able to see us almost immediately.  The development pediatrician (only one in our surrounding area) had a 6 month waiting list, just to get an appointment. This is a huge problem, in the autism "world". Long waiting list, keeping parents from getting kiddo's diagnosed for an extended period of time. Early intervention is very critical. Without diagnosis, means insurance won't cover some therapies, such as ABA. I promise a post explaining ABA, at a later time.

Four years later, I look back at that time and wondered how the hell we survived. We had some of the most awesome people in our life. I had a manager, who never questioned (or gave me crap) about the number of doctor appointments we had. I had a new pediatrician who validated my concerns.  I had friends who listened to me talk for hours. My mom and sister picked up every single call (at least 400 a day, each) and talked me through many concerns and tears. My mom and sister-in-law, came from Indiana, to our last psychologist appointment (when we received the diagnosis). The list goes on and on...

Wyatt started therapies - ABA, OT, and Speech. I started educating myself, reading books and blogs, talking to other autism moms (oh yes, I also gave birth to my second child, River). I started reading about dogs and kiddos with autism, started researching autism service dogs, and started watching Wyatt engage with our dogs.

Then I KNEW, I had to get Wyatt a service dog!! Then our adventure began. I know, you are wondering what does a service dog do for persons with autism - don't worry, I will share more. You may also be wondering if we have Wyatt's service dog, no not yet but hopefully getting closer. More details to follow.

One more thing before you stop reading (and I stop typing). Autism is not a death sentence. The hard times I express isn't about "accepting" my child;  however understanding the diagnosis and fighting for the answers. Some of the things that I love the most about Wyatt, are his autism characteristics, such as flapping his hands when he gets excited!  I will be honest, I did experience moments of grief during the diagnosis process. My expectations changed and new challenges occurred (let's all be honest, all kiddos come with challenges). These challenges are different with a child with special needs. I spend a lot of time wondering if he will ever have functional language, will he ever be able to walk in a grocery store without assistance, will others accept him for who he is, are people nice to him when I'm not around, who will care for him when I (and his dad) are gone.

Many people have told me that God puts special children, with special parents. I know they say this as a complement and it is appreciated. However if anyone knows ME, knows this is not the case!!

When getting Wyatt's diagnosis, I cried. The psychologist asked, "why are you crying". I answered " I am scared I am going to mess this up."I remember thinking, why me? My sister would be able to provide this child with so much more than I could. She's much smarter than me, has more patience, and such an amazing mom. Then, one of my dear friends told me, "Natasha, pull up your big girl pants, you got this". She was right, I've got this (I chant this to myself at least 100 times a day)!! I have learned so much on this journey. I've watched this little guy, my little guy, help young adults decide that they want careers with special needs children. I've learned that there are a lot of awesome people in this world. I've also learned that there are some real judgmental assholes. With all this said, I'm the lucky one. I am a better person because of this child.

If someone is reading this that is going through the diagnosis process (or suspect an autism diagnosis)...you've got this!

Welcome!

Welcome to Adventures of a Boy and His Dog (and his mom, dad, and brother).  I have a beautiful, amazing, awesome little boy named Wyatt, he is six years old. Right before the age of two, Wyatt was diagnosed with Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder, PICA, and Seizure Disorder. Wyatt is considered nonverbal. 

In February 2015, we had a fundraising activity to raise $13,000 for Wyatt's service dog. Many of you, who are reading this blog, were so generous to donate and/or followed our story. I thought this blog would be an awesome way to provide updates and share stories of our adventure (no, we don't have the dog yet).

However, one of my dear friends challenged me (this is why I surround myself with intelligent, opinionated,outspoken friends). She said "Natasha, I love the idea of you sharing the service dog story: however you have so much more to your story than just the service dog. Share how you balance working a full-time job and being a mom of a specials need child. Share the challenges you face regarding Wyatt. Share stories of your family, including River (Wyatt's 3 year old brother). Share the pleasures of autism and your deepest fears. And of course also share why you wanted a service dog for Wyatt. Share how the dog will help Wyatt and the family." Well dear friend, I am accepting the challenge!

Before I begin telling our story. I wanted to share a few disclaimers regarding this blog:

1) Writing is not my strength, I do not have a degree in English and/or creative writing (honestly, this is way out of my comfort zone).There will mostly likely be many post full of grammatical errors. Please excuse them.

2)  I believe the more awareness about Autism, increases the chances of acceptance. 

3) If you have questions, ask me! Your not going to offend me. 

4) Please share this blog with others!!

5) I am a lady, but there are times that a curse words are just necessary. Therefore, if you are sharing with your children, please do a quick review first.

6) I am not an expert in Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder, PICA, Seizure Disorders, or Service Dogs.

6) My child (or children) did not come with an instruction manual. I'm not perfect.,,I will never claim that my way is the best way. We are surviving and having fun doing it.

Welcome to this adventure...more to come later!

Best,

Natasha