A negative turned into a positive...

In December 2014, I decided to take the boys to California, to visit my sister and her family. My husband wasn't able to join us, due to his work schedule. The day after Christmas, I boarded the plane solo with the boys for a four and half hour flight (shout out to Southwest who does a great job at accommodating families with special needs children).  After a wonderful visit, it was time to return back to Louisiana.

We get to LAX airport to find that our flight was delayed. The terminal area was super crowd and there was no way to keep Wyatt in a seat. He was running from here to there (of course, I am chasing him from here to there). As we waited in the pre-boarding area to board, Wyatt began to fuss, whine, and cry because now I had to force him to stand still. I can't blame him for the tears because at this point, I was also ready to cry! Finally we are on the plane, I'm getting the boys situated when an older lady approaches me. I think, how sweet she is going to offer to help. Her mouth opens "where are you sitting? I want to be sure we are not seating near you".  I looked at her, feeling my blood boil, feeling my eyes water, and my mouth opens to say  "Fuck you", but I stopped.

1) I had two set of eyes on me and two sets of listening ears. I have to teach River how to handle these situations, as I know one day he will be sticking up for his brother..
2) No one will EVER make my child feel like he doesn't belong.
3) This lady wasn't worth it. She simply was too ignorant to notice that my child has needs. Too selfish to think how difficult it was to travel solo with two kids.
4) I was scared that once I started, that I wouldn't stop.

Like the angels they are, both boys crashed on the plane. I sat there thinking about what had happened. I was disappointed in myself that I didn't say something clever to put the lady in her place. Of course, all the savvy "come-backs" pop in my head an hour after the matter (don't you hate when that happens).  I wonder, would it be different if Wyatt looked like he had a disability? Would that help people be more patient and kind?

I believe it is very important to socialize Wyatt. Yes it is easier to stay at home with him, however how will he ever learn to act in public? How can others accept him, if they are not aware?  Temple Grandin has said it perfectly, "You have got to keep autistic children engaged with the world. You cannot let them tune out".

With that said, here are a few things you should know about Wyatt:

• He NEVER stops! If you know Wyatt, you probably just chuckled. If you don't know Wyatt, I can't stress how much the boy is always on the go. Even when he watches a cartoon, he stands in front of the TV and jumps up and down. Of course, then River is yelling "Wyatt, I can't see". One of his therapist said it perfect - Wyatt, at the age of six, has lived seven lives because he never stops. 
• PICA is the persistent eating of substances such as dirt or paint that has no nutritional value (Source: WebMd). Wyatt loves nothing more than to eat dirt, flowers, and grass. I owe many friends and family new plants and flowers. He will also put other non-edible things in his mouth and he is super fast like a ninja. 
• Wyatt is a runner. Meaning that if we are in a public setting, such as the grocery store, we have to hold his hand the entire time. If he wiggles away, he is gone. I have ran many aisles at the grocery store and Target (it's okay to laugh, I am sure I looked crazy).  
• Water is one of Wyatt's favorite things. He loves to swim and to get a bath. When I turn the water on at the kitchen sink, he runs over flapping his little hands (this is what he does when he is excited) and puts his fingers in the water. Which means, Wyatt can often be found in the bathrooms, turning on the water. Most our nobs are off the sinks, which worked for a short period of time; however he soon figured out how to turn on the water without knobs. I love his passion for water; however I fear he will burn himself or flood out the house. You know what else has water, yep the toilet bowel.  
•  Sleeping, or shall I say the lack of sleeping. There are many nights that Wyatt wakes up at 1 or 2 am and doesn't fall back asleep - ok, that is a lie. He does fall back asleep once he gets on the bus to go to school. Thank you buddy, mommy and daddy have to go to work now. 
• Wyatt loves lots of deep pressure. He loves for us to squeeze him tight with a big hug. This helps to regulate his little system. The hugs are super awesome and I feel grateful he is so loving. This is awesome, except when he goes up to a stranger for a hug...awkward. At a friend's house the other day, she had her bed beautiful made with a thick comforter and tons of pillows. Guess where we found Wyatt, yep under the covers with a smile from ear to ear. Thank goodness for friends who love my child. 
•  Often kiddos with autism do not know social boundaries. When in public (or at a friends house), if Wyatt sees a drink and/or food, he goes for it. He doesn't understand (or maybe just doesn't care) that it isn't his. One time while leaving a Mexican restaurant, Wyatt grabbed a chip out of someone else's chip basket...awkward. Thank goodness they were nice strangers.
• Wyatt typically prefers to "play" alone. Well it seems he prefers it, but it could be also that he doesn't understand how to approach others. 

Here you go, a perfect picture that my sister-in-law took of Wyatt. Running, at the swimming pool. That's my little guy.... 

Some of you may be thinking, isn't she suppose to talk about a service dog? Well here we go...

If you read my prior post, you know that I have been reading about dogs and autism (A Friend Like Henry by Gardner is a great read), watching Wyatt interact with our dogs, and reading blogs about autism service dogs. I kept talking to my sister and friends over and over again about the possibilities of a service dog for Wyatt. A few of my friends, who have son's with autism, were talking about a service dog for their child, so I started asking them questions.

Back to the flight home from California. We landed (clearly) and my husband greeted us at the airport. The first thing I said  was "we are getting Wyatt a service dog". If anyone knows my husband (the lovely analytical man he is), his first response was no, we don't need another dog. Quietly, I thought....hmmm what will I need to do to convince him. So I gave him a day, then I started telling him why:

1) A service dog for Wyatt helps others to recognize he has needs.
2) Wyatt can be tethered to the dog while in public, to keep him safe from running.
3) The service dog is trained to lay on child to provide "deep pressure", when needed.
4) The dog can sleep with Wyatt, in hopes that it helps to keep Wyatt asleep (feeling safe and secure with his dog).
5) Other kids love dogs. Wyatt + Dog = kids approaching dog (and Wyatt). Makes Wyatt be social!
6) The dog is trained that by a given a certain command, such as "nudge", dog will interrupt a behavior. For example, Wyatt's dog will help to interrupt him eating plants and dirt, turning on sink water, etc.
7) A companion and friend.  How can you say no to that?
8) The list goes on...probably things that I am not even aware of yet! That is one of the purposes of this blog, to educate others of what we learn during this adventure.

Clearly, I convinced my husband (yay, me). We started the process January 2015. Stay tuned for more details on how we went through the process of deciding whether to go with a profit or non-profit service dog provider, why we made the decision to go with Good Dog! Autism Companions (and got accepted), how we raised $13,000 in five days (can you believe it?), and much much more! Three things before signing off:

1) For those of you who have asked. No, we do not have the dog. We were notified, at the end of March, that we are currently in the "match" process. Meaning if a dog matches Wyatt's needs (and me as the handler), then we could possibly have our dog in July!! OH MY GOODNESS!

2) To the lady on the plane, thank you! Thank you for giving me that extra push to go on this adventure for my son.  (also karma is a bitch, so you better be nice)

3) If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart!

Tell next time -