Before you can understand our future, I think you need to know about our past...

When Wyatt was almost two years old, a change happened. He stopped talking, stopped making eye contact, stopped playing with toys appropriately, stopped answering to his name, and stopped engaging with others. It was like a "light" went off. In one month, I visited and called Wyatt's Pediatrician at least a dozen times. I wanted answers, what has happened to my little guy.  The man (pediatrician) was an ass, he provided no answers. I was three/four months pregnant at the time, he told me Wyatt stopped talking because he "sensed" the pregnancy. Really? Also, told me that losing speech isn't regression. Really? I asked for Neurologist referral (thank you insurance for requiring referrals - we will talk about my relationship with insurance at a later time) and he denied it. Really? The last time I called, I asked his nurse to please pass a message along - Dear Doctor, you are not GOD! I hung up and called a pediatrician who had a solid reputation (and wasn't taking new patients) and cried to the receptionist, begging that this doctor would see Wyatt. It worked, she agreed to see Wyatt. Ladies and gentleman, that is when shit started happening!!

At the time, I hadn't been a mom for even two years. However, I learned a very valuable lesson - always trust your mother's intuition (and also doctors don't always know everything). After my first appointment with our new amazing pediatrician, I had a referral to a psychologist, who diagnosed  him with autism, a referral to a neurologist, who diagnosed him with a seizure disorder, and a referral to an OT, who diagnosed him with sensory processing disorder. To give you an idea of how fast all this happened, I was still pregnant.

We were very fortunate to get an autism diagnosis so fast. The psychologist, who diagnosed Wyatt, had just opened her practice and was able to see us almost immediately.  The development pediatrician (only one in our surrounding area) had a 6 month waiting list, just to get an appointment. This is a huge problem, in the autism "world". Long waiting list, keeping parents from getting kiddo's diagnosed for an extended period of time. Early intervention is very critical. Without diagnosis, means insurance won't cover some therapies, such as ABA. I promise a post explaining ABA, at a later time.

Four years later, I look back at that time and wondered how the hell we survived. We had some of the most awesome people in our life. I had a manager, who never questioned (or gave me crap) about the number of doctor appointments we had. I had a new pediatrician who validated my concerns.  I had friends who listened to me talk for hours. My mom and sister picked up every single call (at least 400 a day, each) and talked me through many concerns and tears. My mom and sister-in-law, came from Indiana, to our last psychologist appointment (when we received the diagnosis). The list goes on and on...

Wyatt started therapies - ABA, OT, and Speech. I started educating myself, reading books and blogs, talking to other autism moms (oh yes, I also gave birth to my second child, River). I started reading about dogs and kiddos with autism, started researching autism service dogs, and started watching Wyatt engage with our dogs.

Then I KNEW, I had to get Wyatt a service dog!! Then our adventure began. I know, you are wondering what does a service dog do for persons with autism - don't worry, I will share more. You may also be wondering if we have Wyatt's service dog, no not yet but hopefully getting closer. More details to follow.

One more thing before you stop reading (and I stop typing). Autism is not a death sentence. The hard times I express isn't about "accepting" my child;  however understanding the diagnosis and fighting for the answers. Some of the things that I love the most about Wyatt, are his autism characteristics, such as flapping his hands when he gets excited!  I will be honest, I did experience moments of grief during the diagnosis process. My expectations changed and new challenges occurred (let's all be honest, all kiddos come with challenges). These challenges are different with a child with special needs. I spend a lot of time wondering if he will ever have functional language, will he ever be able to walk in a grocery store without assistance, will others accept him for who he is, are people nice to him when I'm not around, who will care for him when I (and his dad) are gone.

Many people have told me that God puts special children, with special parents. I know they say this as a complement and it is appreciated. However if anyone knows ME, knows this is not the case!!

When getting Wyatt's diagnosis, I cried. The psychologist asked, "why are you crying". I answered " I am scared I am going to mess this up."I remember thinking, why me? My sister would be able to provide this child with so much more than I could. She's much smarter than me, has more patience, and such an amazing mom. Then, one of my dear friends told me, "Natasha, pull up your big girl pants, you got this". She was right, I've got this (I chant this to myself at least 100 times a day)!! I have learned so much on this journey. I've watched this little guy, my little guy, help young adults decide that they want careers with special needs children. I've learned that there are a lot of awesome people in this world. I've also learned that there are some real judgmental assholes. With all this said, I'm the lucky one. I am a better person because of this child.

If someone is reading this that is going through the diagnosis process (or suspect an autism diagnosis)...you've got this!